Women of #nzpol Twitter roundup: THAT Tony Veitch post

The “Women of #nzpol Twitter roundup” is brought to you in the interests of amplifying women’s voices in the political debate and also because:

first wives you don't own me

I already posted yesterday on why Tony Veitch remains a danger to all women – because he directly, deliberately encourages a culture which doesn’t take violence seriously and erases his own horrific actions.

So here’s a perspective that – outside feministy Twitterati circles – we don’t get to hear a lot. There’s plenty of mainstream space for people like Tony Veitch to make excuses. There’s almost none for recognising exactly what personal impact this has on women.

And this post from the amazing Emily is recommended reading.

Women (and all oppressed people) have to live their lives with the constant background knowledge that they can be targets of violence. Not just from strangers in dark alleyways. From our family and partners and friends. And not only can we be targets of violence: the violence against us will be downplayed or completely erased. We will be gaslighted. Our abusers won’t just get let off the hook: they will be praised and promoted and guaranteed their old job back just as soon as the “fuss” dies down.

When we see “12 people you know follow Veitchy On Sport” it’s more than a simple fact. It’s an unconscious threat: these are people you know and love and trust, who you cannot rely on if someone hurts you.

It sounds ridiculous, if you’re not living with it. It sounds hysterical. It sounds paranoid. And we get to the heart of the issue: women are not trusted to tell the truth. Women are not trusted to report their own experience. So of course it doesn’t matter when women are hurt. How would you even know it really happened?

If Tony Veitch says he “had to rebuild his life after a horrible relationship”, who’s going to let facts get in the way? Not us.

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